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Top Joke For the Week Top Quote For the Week

A South African rugby fan, an Australian rugby fan and a New Zealand fan are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they are able to successfully appeal their sentences down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The South African fan was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done he had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The New Zealander was next up. After watching the South African in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again and the New Zealander was soon led away whimpering loudly (as they do).

The Australian was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!".

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Australian replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave". The Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheikh asked.

"Tie the Kiwi to my back."

TopTipper is always looking out for new funny sporting material. If you happen to come across anything that's funny and sports related in your email, please forward it on to [email protected]. If your material is used, we'll put your name in the newsletter for all 9000+ people to see!

"Adversity cause some men to break; others to break records."

- William A. Ward

Top Prize Winners

This week's $AUD15 prize winner is 'KaCzOR' or Dariusz from Katowice. Dariusz top scored in the European Super League with a perfect 6.

Thanks to Sportingbet, there are now betting vouchers available as prizes in most competitions. Check out the prizes page for more details.

 

Top Quiz For The Week
This Week's Question

(Football/Soccer & Cricket) Q : Who is the only person to have played both World Cup Football and World Cup Cricket

A : Next Week.

Last Week's Question

(Rugby League) Q : With which club did Adam 'Mad Dog' MacDougall make his debut in 1995?

A : Sydney City Roosters.

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Top Flop For the Week
PLEASE NOTE: This column is for entertainment purposes only. <%= content9 %>

Last Week :
Prediction : (Confidence 55%) : The NRL starts this week and we expect a tight, low scoring affair between the Dragons and the Gold Coast. Both teams have a fresh look about them with the Titans in their inaugural year and the Dragons with 5 rookies in their side, which could lead to a scrappy encounter. So we'll take the $1.90 odds that less than 44.5 points will be scored.
Result : $91 profit. The bet was never in danger of losing with a final scoreline of 20-18.

Total Stakes $32,200.00    ($100 bet each week)
Total Winnings      $32,862.82
Total Profit $662.82
Biggest Win $567.03 on Man Utd to beat Everton + Wests Tigers over Nth Qld + Dragons over Broncos
Biggest Winning Streak 10 Wins, $990.90 profit; 5 Wins, $1037.03 profit
Worst Losing Streak 9 Losses, $900 loss
Current Streak 5 wins, $392.60 profit

This week (Confidence 55%) : Sticking with the NRL, and the Sharks are a team that plays on confidence. With a new coach, a solid start to the year and a confident Brett Kimmorley they should be too strong for a Gold Coast side that will take time to find its feet and start winning. We'll take the $2.20 odds of a Sharks victory.

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